.. what? Exciting. Yeah, I feel excited, but in a new way. It sure isn't that jumping-up-and -down excited feeling, but something deeper, more serious... better. Whatever it is, it's a lovely feeling. I wonder what happens next. I'm glad John knows what to do, because I don't have a clue. Whatever it is, I'll bet I'm going to like it. A lot.John had put a pillow at the end of the couch and told me to lie down. He kneeled on the floor, leaned over me, and told me he loved me and that I looked good. So I didn't want to ask him .Later that afternoon it started pissing down badly so we walked about 10 mins away to the little portacabin to take shelter and a break . We took our coats off and put them on the heater , we sat down and made a brew and started chatting properly for the first time all day really . He was 39 years old , It took me abit of time to build up the courage to ask him but in the end I did ..."Graham , a few of the lads yesterday were saying you were gay , is it true or. . But it looked like he was enjoying the view, maybe I was wrong. And then I suddenly hear him step into the sauna as the glass-door closed behind him. I felt miserable and the thoughts and ideas I had in my head about that juicy BBC went away so I continued to shower a bit before I thought, well I can take the sauna too since nothing gonna happen. I walked in and sat next to him and thought no more of it, began to think about what I needed to buy at the store later, and what I should eat for. His friends invited him to drinks parties and dinners and other things such as point-to-points and invariably produced an attractive single woman. It was no good though. He was unable to arouse any interest.He held various parties in return and found those more fun because he was not paired off with someone. None of the women he met at these parties appealed to him. Sure, some of them were physically very attractive but they bored him quite quickly. They did not have Rachel's spontaneity or.
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