Every night we would share rooming assignments - guysrotating with guys, girls with girls. It had been for the most part anaverage kind of expereince...we were doing our thing and everything wasgoing ok. One night we were in a town on the Jersey sure. I was assignedto room with Kevin. Kevin and I had known each other from the time westarted college. I wouldn't consider ourselves good friends but we gotalong fine. He was attractive and had a good build (he ran, often as mushas ten miles a. But all I have are my memories. No one stays with me long, in fact, I've never been able to keep a friend for more then four years. I know that seems like a short time considering I'm not very old but I already feel the weight of this self loathing. I don't want it any more. Sorry Diary I have to cut it short. Someone’s knocking on my door. I have to divert attention to something, anything...As long as its not the sword in my room, the pills on my dresser, the knives in my drawers. See you. I had a fire going for at least an hour almost ready to give up when my beautiful Ms. Baker came out of the house wearing her jeans and another of her loose flannel shirts. No bra again! I saw that she had a glass of wine in her hand as she took a seat next to me on the bench and said "Hello Jimmy. I really didn't expect you tonight." Well Ms. Baker this wood really needs to be burned. There is way too much of it to leave hanging around." We sat for at least another hour both of us taking turns. Their relationship would have amazed many who knew them, but who did not realize the intimacy of their lives together. For those who participated with them in the sex swap group, nothing would have surprised them. Those who only knew Pam and Steve on the surface, saw a loving father and daughter like you'd see in any family. Those who participated in the swap group knew what they'd seen during Pam's cherry busting and sexual initiation and in many of the sex parties that had taken place over.
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